Here we are to somewhat of the present

Where I don’t really want to be

I want to be somewhere in the future with a lovely happy family

It’s definitely not what I want at the moment

But just the thought of it happening one day brings me joy and makes me very jittery

It’s what we all crave to have one day

And I find myself always asking myself what it is I want

What do I want in life?

Do I need someone to simply get by

What am I even doing with my life

Time passes by too fast

So many years have gone by

And I’m still up to no good in life

And it’s so lame that I can’t even drive

It’s so lame that I’m always here in the same place

Im tired of people always pushing me, I just wanna go at my own pace

Why can’t people simply understand that?

I’m not the best to handle so many things at once

And I apologize for not being able to show that

Makes me feel so vulnerable to even show anything felt at heart

And on a daily basis I get anxiety

But I hate showing that part

I try my best to control it

And honestly I have to give it my all,

Just in order to keep it in a bag

And I will never let it show on the outside

For I want to have the image of being strong

I don’t want to be the weak link stuck in reality

I hate relying on people just to be happy

From time to time I do get the thought of why am I still living

Things get too overwhelming, feeling like no one ever helps me

In the sense of me having to do everything

Not just for myself but for everyone around me

How is this living at all, when you can’t seem to walk?

It’s so hard to take it step by step

But I don’t want to give up just yet

I want to be brave!

I’m tired of making all the same mistakes

It’s time to get it straight!